Radio no-one can hear

It is nearly time for my dreaded radio spot. Fortunately I cannot hear what I sound like, as local radio (Oban FM) does not reach the island of Seil. It is pre-recorded, but I resist the offer of the presenter to provide a tape. I had better not do my Christmas Bah Humbug routine though. Perhaps I should ask the congregation for ideas. How about Who is real – Rudolph and the reindeer or Joseph and the Magi? Or Punch-up between Santa and Saviour?

Maybe not – safer to stick to twinkling stars. That way it can appeal to mystic and sceptic.

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